Why men have affairs?
Chat about a loaded theme that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on from the beginning of the world. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with troubles, cause misery, and other problems. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety issue, funds, age difference, faith background, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, discreet dating for married.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking affairs. I am sure mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us flee the real world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to switch the craving on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos people has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will overcome their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your spouse or anyone else? You would need to minimize the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major cluster, huge truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they feel comfy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to look after. Your savings are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An extramarital affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a ordinary cause I fear. One or the other, generally the male is sexually neglecting his female for a large humber of reasons. As a man I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us males of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, maybe caring is disappeared, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have just developed distantly, our ordinary concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.